A friend of mine whose deep philosophical thoughts aren’t to be found even if you search on the darkest web has said, “Intellectualism is not just about the consumption of ideas. It’s about how to employ those ideas into the betterment of human existence.”
It just struck me at the moment when I was trying to actually do something of value in my life. It involves being in a limelight that I was never really comfortable with. I was trying to understand why I have come to a point where I feel like what I do and who I am don’t really deserve attention unless they actually start to matter to anybody who’s in need of some salvation.
In contemplation, I could justify the possible reasons for this. It’s probably slightly less severe than a traumatic experience. But for some time it damaged and tainted how I viewed the world.
I viewed the world as mundane, not that the world has become better. It’s always the same but it was never really that bad. It’s just the way things are. Read that again and stop telling me it is cliche. If it was, have many of us actually stopped being smart-asses and become more in truth rather than in denial? If it was cliche, why do many of us keep talking about positivity in a way that’s revolutionizing, with the purest intention of shifting people’s beliefs of the world and who they are?
So, I told my friend that he was right. I am sick of people asking each other what they do and find pleasure in knowing someone has a school certificate or a new car. As if these are what make someone worthy of acceptance. Unfortunately, in most cases they are.
I’d rather not use the word hate because of the heaviness I feel towards the word. But this is happening to me and because I don’t have those things, I’m somehow viewed as someone who hasn’t accomplished anything.
I’m not completely bothered by not being celebrated by those I’m kind of expecting it from. I’m bothered because we let superficialities rule our lives. It has become a factor on how we base our way to connect with people.
Like for peter’s grandmother’s sake, what are those materialistic things for anyways?
Congratulations to you! You deserve that university diploma or that brand new car! I’m not really jealous but don’t shove them to my face or anybody!
Show me how you attained them. Show me what you’ve gone through to achieve them. Show me your true face and your pain in the process, the BTS, behind the scenes. The intricate details on how you came to realization that your attitude towards somebody was ugly and what you did about it.
You’re not happy to have a car. You’re happy because finally, your hard labor has born its fruit. After all, you’ve come to know joy because you learned pain first. If it wasn’t for the pain, would you have remembered true joy?
Materialistic rewards and accomplishments are practically just embellishments to our dull lives we put color to. It’s the story behind them that is interesting and inspiring and that is moving.
When I was writing for the first time on my blog, someone who could relate to my stories didn’t want to know my present state. He wanted to know my pain and how I’ve overcome them. Not my then newly-published blog site.
Boruto, son of Naruto- a powerful ninja in a fictional world, asked his father's comrade Sasuke about why his father is so powerful. Sasuke to Boruto, "Maybe instead of the Naruto of today, you should study who Naruto was in the past."
You may say, I’m contradicting my own words of letting go of the past. They’re gone for real but the little and the big things are what shaped us and will continue to shape us.
I hope that you who reads this will not fall in the same rat’s race loop. I remind myself that every single time I want to be praised or recognized for the thing I’m working on at the moment. Sure, we deserve some pat in the back but don’t fall into its trap. If you do, you will know. Listen to the uneasiness of the mask you are presenting to yourself and to the world.
The profoundness of every single experience you have, with awareness, will alchemize who you are- most of the time and almost inevitably, that heals and emerges as love and light.
My friends, find your truth and be that.
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